A Memory Not Easily Forgotten
by Ignite The Spark
Summary: This is just a oneshot of what I believe Natalia Romanova had to go through in her childhood when she was with the KGB. Please excuse any typos or errors you see... Hope you like it! Also, anything in italics is meant to be said in Russian. But I don't know Russian sooo. Lol ENJOY!


_"Natalia, it will be okay. You must trust us... Everything will be fine."_

It was his voice, she'd recognize it anywhere... It had filled every moment of her childhood, seeping into the crevices of her memories, dreams, and nightmares. Ivan Petrovitch... Scientist, surrogate father, interrogator, and torturer. One man who'd simultaneously been everything Natasha had ever feared in her life.

_"Natalia, you must come. Come now, it will be over soon."_

Large, green eyes widened in a small head as a young Natalia Romanova scooted away, her long, red hair falling in ringlets over her shoulders as she shook her head vigorously. No... She was not going back in there. Not a chance. Above her the lights of the long hospital walk way flickered, intensifying the scared feeling of the six year old girl as she pressed herself against a white washed wall, a small brown teddy bear clutched tightly in her arms. Never again would she go in there.

_"Natalia, it will be alright. You have my word. Come now, child."_ With that the large man stepped forward, his white coat flicking out behind him as a big, heavy hand wrapped tightly around the girl's wrist. A whimpering cry burst from her lips as she was suddenly jerked forward, her arm pulled away from her body which caused the teddy bear to fall face down to the floor as she was drug inside the room, heavy metal doors slamming shut after her.

_"The Red Room is not bad, Natalia. Come now... be a good girl. Sit in the chair_."

As soon as the hand let her wrist go, flitting towards the chair in an attempt to guide her, Natalia had run. Her small feet scurrying over the linoleum floor, slipping and losing their grip pathetically as she fled to a large machine that rest against one side of the room to hide behind it. For a moment a heavy, uncomfortable silence fell across the large space, leaving Natalia to think that perhaps she'd escaped. Perhaps he hadn't seen her run and she had gotten away... Just this once. But when she dared to peak her head out, her green eyes just poking past the edge of the machine, a loud scream tore from her. An arm had snatched her around the waist and picked her up from the floor, her little feet dangling and kicking in the air in an attempt to get away.

_"Put me down! Put me down!" The _phrase was repeated at least six times as Natalia struggled, her small fists hitting hard against the large arm that engulfed her, her feet kicking and dangling fruitlessly in the air in an attempt to get away. She couldn't do this again... No. Not again. It hurt... it hurt so bad.

_"Hush, Natalia. We haven't the time for this little fit. Be a good girl and cooperate."_

_"No! I want down! Now! Put me down!"_ Each word tore from her, tears now streaming from her eyes and engulfing her small face as she continued to struggle. She would not submit. She would not go easily... Not so long as there was any amount of life left in her little body...

But all of her struggling was futile. Ivan managed to push her into the large chair effortlessly, one hand resting against her flat chest to hold her back while the other quickly strapped her in. Her arms bound to the armrests, and her feet bound out in front of her to keep her stationary. No matter how much she struggled, the little girl simply couldn't get away... And she certainly did try.

_"Sit still!"_ The words were accompanied with a swift hit to the back of her head, causing the red hair there to muss and bunch up, giving her a more disheveled look than she already had... Almost immediately Natalia fell limp, her eyes finally turning up to the man who was hovering over her. Black, thick rimmed glasses framed his dark eyes while silver hair sprouted from his head... It had been gelled and put back to the side to give him a kempt, appropriate look despite the fact that he was working with children. His white lab coat was perhaps the most terrifying part. Because even now when Natasha saw one, she couldn't help the anxiety that crept up into her chest, constricting and holding until she couldn't breathe...

_"Behave and this will be over soon."_ The older gentleman murmured, narrowing his eyes at her before he pushed himself up and moved across the room. Natalia's gaze immediately flit around, looking to the television that sat in front of her, over to the large machines that covered the walls, and finally towards Ivan, catching him just as he was lifting a syringe up into the air and flicking the tip, a satisfied smirk crossing his features when a small spurt of liquid oozed from the top.

_"No... No! No No No NO!"_ Natalia screamed, her struggling renewed as she fought against the restraints, trying desperately to get away. She didn't know what it was... She didn't know what it did. All she knew was that when that needle penetrated her skin, it felt like she was on fire. Everything seemed to burst into flames, engulfing her body in a pain that she'd never before felt. And all be damned if a little six year old girl was going to sit there and take it.

_"Hush, child!"_ The man growled as he neared her, the grin still settled on his face as he bent low and grabbed her arm, forcing her to be still. _"It won't hurt... Much."_ With that he pushed the needle into her skin, and immediately Natalia let out a scream. It tore from her lungs, burning her throat and clawing at the air as she struggled against her restraints, trying to get away from it... The pain that was now engulfing her, making her feel as though her skin were being ripped away, leaving her muscles raw and exposed to the elements around her. It was unbearable... Absolutely and incredibly unbearable.

Her eyes had flown shut at some point and her teeth had pressed together, her mouth forming a hard line in between shouts and screams... But none of it made a difference.

Suddenly her head was being forced back, and she could feel her eyes being forced open, Ivan's horrible smiling face hovering in front of her.

_"You will watch. You will watch and you will obey_." His voice had changed... No longer the falsely caring and understanding one that he used in an attempt to get her to cooperate. That was gone... because it wasn't needed any longer. She was at his mercy, not that she'd ever had much of a choice in the first place. She was only a child... only a child.

Once her eyes were successfully pried open and taped, forcing her to keep them that way, her head was turned towards the TV that stood in front of her...

_"Welcome to the KGB... Let us begin..."_

Almost immediately Natasha awoke in a cold sweat, her breathing heavy and her forehead completely damp. Her right hand had flown out to her nightstand, fingers curling tightly around a gun that sat there... A gun that she kept by her side every night. It had been grabbed and held as she sat up in the bed, green eyes narrowing and searching the room, because she was certain she'd see him. She'd see that face, standing there in the corner, smiling at her with his syringe in hand... Just waiting. But this time? This time she'd be ready... She'd be able to defend herself. Never would she be so helpless again.


End file.
